Wakka Wakka Wakka!

So, I'm an idiot. Or a klutz. Or something. I don't know. I have no coordination whatsoever. In fact, I've decided that I'm most like an excited muppet. You know how, when muppets get excited, their limbs flail about uncontrollably and they look kind of crazy in general? Yeah. That's me. Here's why: in the past two days, I've managed to get pretty major bruises in several places all over my body AND bruise someone else in the process.

On Wednesday, I was at work, at another boring stupid training session, and we were going to get our ID cards out of the supervisor's office. So, the sup's office is kind of long and skinny, and I was standing on one end. I grabbed a couple ID cards that I was going to bring to the people standing at the other end of the room. I turn around, and start walking, full force to the other end of the room. And I fail to percieve the big metal filing cabinet that's right in my way. So, I slam my right side as hard as possible into the filing cabinet. Now, I have bruises on my hip and ribs on that side. Smart.

Then, later that night, I went out with Court and some grad students from La Crosse for dinner and a comedy show. We got armbands to get into the comedy show, and apparently I thought my armband made me look punk rock. (Keep in mind that I had a margarita from Tequilas before we got to the comedy show, and there's a reason why that restaurant is called Tequilas...) So, because I felt like a punk, apparently, the most logical thing for me to do was to flail my fist around like a freak. I dont' know why, but it made complete sense to me at the time. Somehow, and I don't know how, Courtney's face got in the way of my fist. Or my fist got in the way of Courtney's face. Something like that. But, I ended up punching my best friend in the face, because I wanted to flail my fist around like a moron. Sarah = stupid.

BUT that's not the end, friends. Oh no. Of course I can't just stop there. It's the law of threes or something. So, the next day, Thursday (yesterday), I was back at Chileda for another stupid dumb boring training session (as a quick sidenote, I realize that most of their new hires probably don't have experience with treatment centers like I do, but we seriously watched a half hour movie about how kids with autism have a hard time making friends. Umm, can we say self-apparent? "Self-apparent!" very good.) Anyway, Chileda, training...and then after the training session, another girl and I realized that it was payday, and we had checks waiting for us at the front desk! Hooray! So, we waited in line and got our paychecks, and parted ways. I began walking towards my car, on the other side of the street. But, I was distracted by my paycheck. I am not a person that can walk and do other things at the same time. It's just not allowed. So, right as I got to the curb, an ant tripped me or something. Or my feet decided to both go at the same time. I don't know. Something ridiculous happened, and I fell. And of course, because I was holding on to my paycheck, I didn't put my hands out in time to catch myself. So, I ate pavement like a pro. Gravel in my hands and knee. Blood all over. It was pretty spectacular. Luckily (or maybe unluckily, since I just about passed out), there was no one around to witness my awe-inspiring dive to the asphalt, so after a second or two of trying to get my bearings back, I hobbled to my car and drove home, trying desparately not to bleed all over my car. So now, my knee is nice and swollen, and every so often, I get up the guts to pick another piece of gravel or tar out of my knee or hands. That hurts so bad.

You know, if you scan through my archives, you'll find a pretty similar story about a spectacular fall from about a year and a half ago from Alyssa's wedding day. Except that time, it wasn't my knee that sustained the most damage. That time I got some pretty awesome bruised ribs. Hooray me. I should just get one of those scooter thingys. What are they called? Oh, Segways. Yup. Can't trip when you're on one of those. But, I suppose you could fall off. And, I would most likely do so in the most spectacular and embarassing of ways.